Yellow Snow, Trucker Style

Okay, we're going to address an unpleasant topic and you may want to ask the children to leave the room. When I first climbed into this truck I had such high standards -- I took a shower EVERY day of my life, I washed my hair EVERY day, and using the facilities meant there actually was a facility to use. After only a few short weeks my standards have hit an all-time low. I actually found myself looking at the growth of Shannon's beard to determine how many days its been since our last stop at one of those deluxe truck stop showers.

Since we're all adults, I don't have to tell you that a natural biological process of the human body is that when you take fluids in, fluids must come out. Right? There are two hard and fast rules in trucking that I've observed thusfar; 1) Truckers have the need to consume massive amounts of highly caffeinated beverages (super charged coffee, MountainDew, whatever their poison may be); and 2) once a trucker gets on the road, he does not want to get off the road until his next fuel stop. Did you know that you can get from Seattle to Los Angeles on a single tank of fuel in these babies? To date, the largest container we've seen a trucker filling with his favorite java was a one gallon jug. You do the math, one gallon of coffee, 11 hours in the truck, something's got to give!

So, just a word to the wise, never, ever assume that the full bottle of Mountain Dew or container of apple juice thrown carelessly and ILLEGALLY on the side of the road is actually what it seems to be.